[LargeFormat] How do I get off the list?

[Jim Hemenway]

To My Fellow List Members:

I meant to send this disclaimer last weekend, but got too involved in 
some wedding photography workflow and forgot about it until, in an off 
list email last night, I was told once again how humorous my "How to 
unsubscribe" is/was.

I have to tell you that I didn't write the unsubscribe instructions, and 
that they are not original to me. They appeared on another list some 
months ago and I saved them for the next time someone "needed" them.

My apologies to all for not making that clear when I posted them.

Jim




Brock Nanson wrote:

> Jim, you're really raised the bar for humour around this list!  I just 
> about fell off my chair reading this one.  Sounds much like some of the 
> offshore computer hardware manuals I've seen.  And just about as logical.
> 
> Uncle Dick, I don't think I've seen a result for your Christmas contest.  
> I vote for this one, even if it doesn't relate!
> 
> Brock
> 
> 
> On Thu, 15 Jan 2004, Jim Hemenway wrote:
> 
> 
>>Joe:
>>
>>Here's how to unsubscribe:
>>
>>First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
>>
>>Then follow these directions.
>>
>>The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
>>requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating 
>>System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be 
>>dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have 
>>fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" 
>>outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the 
>>connection point until you feel it lock. The kit is now ready for use. 
>>The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the small switch on the lip. When 
>>securing, twist the ring back to its initial condition, so that the two 
>>orange lines meet. Disconnect.
>>
>>Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
>>Activate by pressing the blue button.  The controls for System B are
>>located on the opposite side. The red release switch places the
>>Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up or down by
>>pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self- adjusting.
>>
>>To secure after use, press the green button, which simultaneously 
>>activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage 
>>position.  You may log off if the green exit light is on over the 
>>evaporator . If the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator 
>>requirements has not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy" 
>>call button on the right of the evaporator . He will secure all 
>>facilities from his control panel.
>>
>>To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the
>>clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet 
>>immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. On 
>>the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a 
>>"Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be 
>>illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired 
>>setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally. 
>>The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you 
>>activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you 
>>are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The 
>>door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and 
>>place them in their container.
>>
>>If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue 
>>button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob 
>>to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium 
>>or high.
>>
>>For normal use, the medium setting is suggested. After these settings 
>>have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" 
>>position the clearly marked red switch. If during the unsubscribing 
>>operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" 
>>override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and 
>>repeat the cycle.
>>
>>When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch.
>>
>>Please close the door behind you.
>>
>>Joe Levine wrote:
>>
>>
>>>How do I get off the list?
>>>How do I get off the list?
>>>How do I get off the list?
>>>How do I get off the list?
> 
> 

-- 

Jim - http://www.hemenway.com