[LargeFormat] How do I get off the list? and Uncle Dick's contest
Brock Nanson
largeformat@f32.net
Thu Jan 15 23:30:43 2004
Jim, you're really raised the bar for humour around this list! I just
about fell off my chair reading this one. Sounds much like some of the
offshore computer hardware manuals I've seen. And just about as logical.
Uncle Dick, I don't think I've seen a result for your Christmas contest.
I vote for this one, even if it doesn't relate!
Brock
On Thu, 15 Jan 2004, Jim Hemenway wrote:
> Joe:
>
> Here's how to unsubscribe:
>
> First, ask your Internet Provider to mail you an Unsubscribing Kit.
>
> Then follow these directions.
>
> The kit will most likely be the standard no-fault type. Depending on
> requirements, System A and/or System B can be used. When operating
> System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be
> dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have
> fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X"
> outlet hose. Twist the silver- coloured ring one inch below the
> connection point until you feel it lock. The kit is now ready for use.
> The Cin-Eliminator is activated by the small switch on the lip. When
> securing, twist the ring back to its initial condition, so that the two
> orange lines meet. Disconnect.
>
> Place the dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear.
> Activate by pressing the blue button. The controls for System B are
> located on the opposite side. The red release switch places the
> Cin-Eliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up or down by
> pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self- adjusting.
>
> To secure after use, press the green button, which simultaneously
> activates the evaporator and returns the Cin-Eliminator to its storage
> position. You may log off if the green exit light is on over the
> evaporator . If the red light is illuminated, one of the Cin-Eliminator
> requirements has not been properly implemented. Press the "List Guy"
> call button on the right of the evaporator . He will secure all
> facilities from his control panel.
>
> To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the
> clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet
> immediately below. Enter the shower, taking the entire kit with you. On
> the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a
> "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be
> illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired
> setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Bathe normally.
> The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you
> activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you
> are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The
> door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and
> place them in their container.
>
> If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue
> button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob
> to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium
> or high.
>
> For normal use, the medium setting is suggested. After these settings
> have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON"
> position the clearly marked red switch. If during the unsubscribing
> operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off"
> override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and
> repeat the cycle.
>
> When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and have lunch.
>
> Please close the door behind you.
>
> Joe Levine wrote:
>
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?
> > How do I get off the list?
--
Brock Nanson
Kamloops BC Canada