[LargeFormat] Prague/London travel tips&

[philip lambert]

>
>      As you go North the beer will get better. The people will become
> friendlier. They will be largely unintelligible, mind, but that is bound
to
> happen after 4 hours in the pub anyway and you can always say " Ee, Bah
> Goom. " and it will serve.
>
>     Do not expect the food to get better. English food does not get
better.
> It goes from directly from uncooked to congealed to discarded You are not
> expected to eat British Rail sandwiches. Try to eat enough in America to
> last until you can get home.
>
>     Do not go too far North. The friendliness will disappear and the
natives
> will become hairier. The beer quality will deteriorate and the souvenir
> shops will become ever more pressing. There are only so many Rob Roy dolls
a
> man can take.
>
>     Do not go too far West. Once you pass the Severn the animals become
> vicious.
>
>     Finally - DO NOT TRAVEL BY ROAD. Buy a Britrail pass or the equivalent
> and roam the rails. Travel 1st class. Your fellow travellers ( And isn't
> THAT a hint....) will not be any friendlier but they will smell less.
>
>     Uncle Dick

Dear Uncle Dick,

How long is it since you had to leave this sceptre'd isle?  (I believe the
warrant has not been renewed).  English people have a shower and clean
clothes most days. First class travel is always expensive. The price of
secondclass is a well kept secret and enquiries to railway companies yield
different  prices during the same day. Chaos?  The trains are quite good and
coaches aren't bad for up to two hours.  With a rented car you can get a
great distance on the motorways in a day if you like fast driving. Some days
you get trapped in traffic jams but you can always make enquiries first or
listen or local radio bulletins.
English food is a vacuum - better when it is
Indian/Chinese/Italian/Jewish/French/Turkish/Thai or any logical
combination..  North country people are fine. Wales is very scenic if you
can find something to do. I spent a week there one rainy Sunday. Most Welsh
are friendly.  Scotland is also very scenic but goes monochrome in winter
and nothing much moves out in the country  (jeep?) Edinburgh is interesting
but in winter there's a nasty Norway feeling to the wind.Parts of Scotland
look to be as far north as St Petersburg.   Please don't make fun of any
groups of men in skirts. Not what you might think -they have a tradition of
fierceness that goes back to before the Romans. We have various Celts in the
UK's edges and Ireland, some with a v.long history of scholarship.