[LargeFormat] f32 Spring Workshops (please help me)

[hairy possum]

I just started in photography.  I went down to the
photo store, told the guy I wanted to take pictures. 
I wanted to buy a camera and make big pictures.  He
told me that I needed a pin hold camera.  I told him I
had some pins but none of em make pictures.  When his
side got to hurting so bad he quit laughing, he showed
me a wooden box, told me that it would take the
pictures I wanted.

So ok, I bought the box plus some more stuff he said I
needed.  I just thought I needed the camera.  I took
the box home, set it down facing my rose buses.  I
waited and waited but it didn't do nothing.  I called
the guy at the store, he told me I had to put film in
the camera, heck why didn't he tell me this at the
store.  So I put the film in the camera, waited and
waited, I called him back, still doing nothing.   The
said I had to take some dark slide out ( I thought he
was talking about dating a demoness ), scared the heck
out of me.   After his side got to hurting real bad
again, he told me what he meant.

Ok, ok, I got it now.  I set the camera down, put that
film thing in the back of it.  Pulled out that dark
slide and waited till I drank three cans of Coors, put
the dark thing back in, took the camera back inside.

Went into the darkroom, (fancy word for a closet with
no light in it), had to throw my clothes on the floor
to make room for me in there.  Took the thing out that
holds the film and went into the bathroom, cause it
was dark by this time everywhere. He told me all this
had to be done in the dark.  I thought he was calling
me stupid for a while.

OK in the bathroom, poured some of those chemicals
that he sold me into the trays he sold me.  He
numbered em 1, 2, 3, 4 so that I would know which one
came first.  So far so good.

I put the fim in the # 1 chemical,  supposed to
develope the film, that what he told me.   HEck it was
so dark, I couldn't see my toes, much less that danged
film.  I had this thing he called a safe light, so I
plugged it into the socket and turned it on.  I still
couldn't see too good, but I could see the dark film
in that white tray.  Man, that safe light made a lot
of diffrence, cause I could see the film changing real
good.

I even held it up to the safe light to see how it was
looking, looking real good.  I did 10 minutes like he
told me, then put it thru trays 2, 3 and 4, just like
he told me, then dried it with a hair dryer.  I turned
the lights on, and I got a problem, the negative is
done so good that I can't see my roses on there. 
Looks like it was dark when i took that picture.  Dang
it.

So I called the guy, (they stay open late) and he said
that I had a little package somewhere with bleach in
it ( He said not to call him anymore today, cause his
side was hurting too much),  I hope he ain't sick and
gotta go to the doctor.  To mix that up and put the
film in the bleach for 5 minutes.  So I did that, now
the film is not so dark, but I still don't see my
roses.

Can ya'll tell me if my roses are in there somewhere,
reckon I can get em out somehow??  I shore want a
picture of them roses.  Can ya'll tell me what I did
wrong, this shore seems like a lot of trouble and
still not get any roses in there.

Please help me.

BUbba

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