[LargeFormat] Uncle Dick Learns a Valuable Lesson

[Pete Caluori]

From: "rstein" <rstein@bigpond.net.au>
Date: Fri, 29 Mar 2002 14:09:48 +0800

Dear Friends,

      Don't believe them when they say you cannot teach an old dog new
tricks. There is nothing you can't teach with love, kindness, and a 320 volt
cattle prod.

     Witness my own experience two weeks ago. I had just finished a full day
picturing belly dancers - and adding 4 more new wives to the collection -
when I decided to do the negatives up straight away.

      The 6x6 rolls were no problem. the new Jobo CPE2 seems to be very
consistent and all you do is pour in things and tilt the lever at the
appriopriate intervals. The radio on, a cup of coffee, a cinnamon bun, a
dirty magazine, a pint of  Bundaberg rum and the darkroom is a very
comfortable place. The new Jobo dumps the chemistry into a 20 litre plastic
jerry can and I empty this on the neighbor's lawn after midnight so all is
systematic and controlled.

      So I thought with the 4 x 5 negatives the next day. 6 negs into the
Combiplan tank and pour in the dev and invert for the required amount of
time - then repeat with bleach and fix. Ho Hum.

     Valuable Lesson #1.

     After 4 years a Combiplan tank starts to have little leaks around the
plastic seal. This allows the bleach to run out over the ends of your
fingers and thumb. This chemically tans the ends of your fingers and thumb.
The skin hardens up and feels like you poured wax over it. Then 2 weks later
it splits and peels, leaving you wearing what feels like a pair of Albert
Steptoe's old fingerless gloves, but in skin.

     You cannot clean your nose or other interesting bits as this feels
terrible. You haven't a finger to stand on.

     Valuable Lesson #2.

      The new skin at the end of the fingers has lots of nerve endings that
haven't been working for 2 weeks. During the fortnight you have gotten used
to picking up hot objects and not feeling it. Now try a cup of coffee.....

     Valuable Lesson #3.

     INASMUCH as you use 20 pairs of latex gloves each day in the surgery,
Uncle Dick, wouldn't it be a good idea to bring a box of them home and use t
hem while developing colour negatives?

     I have always read that the march of progress is slow and steady - I
regret to say I tend to lurch....

      Uncle Dick

Dear Uncle Dick,

What are you doing in a darkroom , or playing with a camera, when you can 
write such wonderful prose?  Quite humurous! :)

Regards, Pete

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