[AGL] Exciting political news as reported by my friend Byron A Marshall late of Pineville, LA now living in Florida

[Michael Eisenstadt]

EXCITING POLITICAL NEWS


  Bush Announces Plans for Large Permanent Military Bases in Africa

  Today President Bush announced plans for large permanent US military bases
in Africa:

                       Bush says no plans for new U.S. bases in Africa -

  (Reuters.) This is the first time he has publicly revealed his plans for
large permanent US military bases in Africa. In a related story, the
President's choice for Republican candidate for President, John McCain, said
we would keep bases in Africa for a thousand times a thousand years, or
until the goats come home. The Republican Party's choice for Democrat
candidate for President, Hillary Clinton, said she favored keeping large
permanent US bases in Africa for as "many years as it takes, whatever." She
ridiculed her opponent, "Uppity Obama", for not having the experience to
realize that "you have to do what the Man tells you to do."

  Other Items in Today's News:

  Bush Happy That Shuttle Flies Home This Morning

  President Bush said it was a "darned good thing"  the space shuttle  flew
home this morning because "it would have been real hard doing it tonight
what with that  lunar eclipse." Without the moon being in the sky, the
President said, "everything would have been sort of 'off'". As a former US
military pilot, the President said, he knew about such things. In a related
story, the  Republican Party's  choice for Democrat nominee for the
Presidency,  Hillary Clinton, said  her husband, Willie Nelson, was not
going to go out tonight because "without the moon, you know, well, you
know."

  Hillary Ridicules Opponent

  Democratic presumptive nominee for President, Hillary "Inevitablity"
O'Clinton, ridiculed her opponent, "Obama  Bin Laden", for presuming to run
against an experienced lady like  herself. "He frankly does not have the
right skin color," she said, echoing a comment by her husband, William
"Attention Deficit" Disorder. She added that "Obama Bin Laden" should wait
around a bit, perhaps a thousand times a thousand years, or until the goats
come home, before "doing that Uppity Thing." She then shed an emotional tear
in memory of  her "good friend" and "loyal supporter", Aunt Jemima Foster.

  Sensational Rumors

  Sensational Rumors Stir Rabbit Communities

  Sensational rumors, so far undenied, have swept through rabbit communities
concerning an impending announcement of a run for the Presidency by a
rabbit, thought to be one Bayberry Bunny.  This would be the first time a
rabbit officially ran for  President of the United States, although it is
known that several  previous US presidents were rabbits, among them Thomas
Jefferson Bigfoot, Andrew Jackrabbit, and the founder of the country, George
Washington Long Legs. In more recent years Ronald Rabbit and Harry "Thumper"
Bunny have been mentioned.

  Peaches K Rabbit, speaking on condition of anonymity for Bayberry Bunny,
said that "speaking off the record, I have nothing to say" but that "on the
record" "Bayberry has nothing to say, not having made up his mind."