[AGL] my funny friend Byron Marshall, late of Pineville, Louisian now living in Florida, predicts 2008 election

[Michael Eisenstadt]

                                    THE DELPHI VERSION

                                           =================

  Both Henry and I know that there will be an October surprise which will
completely fool the pollsters and lead to a stunning victory by
McCain-Huckabee, with Huckabee becoming President a few days after the
inaugeration, when McCain accidentally shoots himself in the foot and
tumbles down the White House steps and is sent off to the nearest funny
farm.

(Henry is Henry Bass a video director living in Belmont, Mass)

  Whereas Henry gets his prediction from inside sources I have other
sources. I know that Mike will tut tut this and regard it as Conspiracy Talk
and David will say that the truth will come out some time, but it's true, it
is.

(Mike is me and David Schmalz who lives in Amsterdam)

  In my case my source is the little oracle in Delphi, FLorida, a
fashionable little place surrounded by strip malls and expressways several
miles from here. As one would expect it also hablos espanol.

  According to the Delphi (orders to take out, by the way) the attack by the
enemy in Iraq will come as a complete surprise (to the enemy in Iraq) as it
will be organized by our general in Iraq (who I think should be on the
ticket with McCain, btw, instead of Huckabee, but apparently it won't
happen. With two generals on the ticket missing a screw or two at least
there would be one screw between them.)

  Here is the Delphi version.

  Several fiendish conspirators from our penal colony in Cuba will be flown
to Iraq to lead the non-existent military action by our enemy. The enemy
fiends will issue statements but not be allowed to speak to the press. The
non-existent "enemy action" will call for a major reprisal and the
suspension of elections (in America), following the tragic loss of 3,000
American lives when the new embassy collapses. This will wake up the
American people to the perils of allowing a black Muslim to get within even
500 feet of the White House. (I mean, it's called the WHITE House. Get it,
you Obama nits? W-H-I-T-E. Get it? It's the White House.)

  Oracles are if anything imprecise so the Delphi has several alternative
100 per cent certain predictions for October, to wit:

  a ) Enemy activity faked in Iraq with major loss of American life and
requiring suspension of election - already predicted

  b ) An Iranian boy on a bicycle blows a raspberry at a  U.S. Destroyer,
requiring prompt militiary bombing and invasion of Iran and suspension of
U.S. election

  c ) Bin Laden declares that Obama  is his love-child requiring prompt
bombing of Democratic Pary National Headquarters and suspension of U. S.
election

  d ) Bush is shot by Dick Cheney requiring suspension of U.S. election

  e ) Hillary and Willyum do fast one and occupy White House. George is
confused, says that Willyum is a true conservative and his kind of guy.
Georgie's girls say the scene is cool, they really like "Uncle Willy." U.S.
election suspended. Hillary says that at least now the White House will
continue to be White.

  f ) The Delphi is closed on Mondays and has no prediction

  Mustard is optional on the predictions.

  I think this pretty much clears things up.

  - Byron