[AGL] Molly Ivins: The Not-So-Great Texas Gubernatorial Debate

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Molly Ivins: The Not-So-Great Texas Gubernatorial Debate
Posted on Oct 9, 2006
By Molly Ivins
AUSTIN, Texas—I sacrificed an hour Friday evening to watch the Texas 
gubernatorial debate on your behalf, since I knew none of you would do it. 
Democrat Chris Bell looked and sounded like the only candidate who won’t 
embarrass the state—he was intelligent, well informed and even funny. But 
the question remains: Can Texas afford to lose that hair?
The Coiffure was in his usual form. As one opponent after another attacked 
his record, Gov. Rick Perry stood there proudly behind that 35 percent voter 
support he has so richly earned and simply disagreed. The Coiffure seemed to 
consider blanket denials a fully sufficient and adequate response.
At one point, the debate actually became more interesting, as a panel of 
reporters with Belo Corp. changed formats. Doing a quick pop quiz, they 
asked independent candidate Carole Keeton Strayhorn who won the election in 
Mexico. She informed us the winner had won by a narrow margin, and she is 
ready to work with him. They asked Goodhair the interest rate on a home 
mortgage. He said 5.9 percent, and it is 6.4 percent (I don’t think I would 
have known that, either). Independent candidate Kinky Friedman didn’t even 
try to guess the average cost of a year’s tuition at the University of Texas 
($7,630). They asked Bell when the battle of the Alamo was fought. He 
correctly answered 1836.
One overall impression: It seems to me both Strayhorn and Friedman damaged 
themselves. Lots of people are voting for Kinky for the fun of it, but the 
thin-skinned Texas Jew reacted badly to questions about his recent racist 
remarks. He first became defensive and then petulant—sort of, if you can’t 
take a joke, to hell with you. The politically incorrect humor didn’t work 
because it wasn’t funny ... in fact, it was painfully bad. Strayhorn seemed 
over-prepped and over-amped. As Texas political guru Bob Armstrong said, she 
talked 40 mph, with gusts up to 70.
So that leaves us with two Protestant white guys again. Just FYI, the 
percentage of minority citizens working for the state government has gone 
down steadily since Ann Richards.
Rick Perry and Chris Bell: Compare and contrast.
Rick Perry has really good hair.
Chris Bell has everything else.
Obviously, you think my prejudices are showing here, but others who reported 
on the debate, while often taking shelter behind the “no major blows landed” 
dodge, rather clearly thought Bell had done best, even if Perry won on the 
politics of it by not actually saying anything totally idiotic.
According to the post-debate “fact check” article in the Dallas Morning 
News, Perry claimed he had pushed a tax bill through the Legislature 
“lowering property taxes by a record amount.” He didn’t mention that the 
bill is not a tax cut, it’s a tax-swap—it didn’t lower taxes, it just moved 
them over to business and smokers.
He also claimed teachers could get a $12,000 raise under his school plan. 
Actually, the pay raise for teachers is $2,000 across the board, with the 
stated recommendation to the school districts that they add merit pay raises 
between $3,000 and $10,000. That’s some mighty fancy slicing and dicing 
there.
Bell picked up a $1-million pledge that night from John O’Quinn, the Houston 
trial lawyer. The trial lawyers have almost blown a good shot here—all it 
takes is one more vote than 36 percent, there is no runoff, this is 
winner-take-all, sudden death. Polls show two out of three Texas voters 
ready to vote against Perry. The Democrats have a base vote around 40 
percent. I think it would be a real tragedy to throw this one away, and you 
know what is tripping us up? We think we can’t win.
We’re in a real “why try, why work, why contribute?” spiral, believing our 
guy doesn’t have a chance. Nonsense. You couldn’t ask for an easier win.
To find out more about Molly Ivins and read features by other Creators 
Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at 
www.creators.com. 
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