Begone Zhedong!

Tue May 18 20:43:49 2004

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The Life and Times of Mao Zhedong.
=20

=20

Most Chinese and Western histories record little Mao's birth as being =
somewhere in Hunan Province on Boxing Day, 1893.  Actually, he was born =
in Toledo, Ohio on March 12, 1894 to Moira and Cassius Breckenridge in =
the back of the Hotel Demimonde between Acts 2 & 3 of The Chinaman's =
Curse, a Melodrama written by Moira's second Uncle Vaysha while serving =
time in a Lithuanian prison for child empersonation.  He had started out =
to re-write Ivanhoe but fell asleep one night over a bowl of Borsht Chow =
Mein and decided instead to write a parable about capitalism, Marx and =
phrenology. =20

=20

Shortly after Mao's birth, he and his parents moved to Shanghai to avoid =
prosecution by Ohio police for shoplifting.  The mad dash across the =
Great Plains in the middle of the summer was always considered a seminal =
event for Mao and one which he used to great advantage when he first =
began teaching diesel mechanics in night school.  His great spiritual =
mentor was, of course, the noted Darwinist and converted Quaker, Dr. =
Moon Yet Sin, in Changsha, capital of Hunan.  When Dr. Moon led a =
peaceful protest in 1911 protesting the rice tax and the war against =
Japan, the local police beat him and his fourteen lady consorts severely =
about the head and shoulders.  Mao left Dr. Moon for another province =
and began the serious study of John Nathan Mill, Herbert DeLong Spencer, =
and Camille Rousseau but was handicapped by lack of money and began a =
series of daring midnight raids against local porno houses and opium =
dens.  Soon he was known as Master Mao, Kingpoon of Tang province. =20

=20

His short life as a bandit hero among the local peasants was interrupted =
first by moving to Peking, disguised as a duck and later by World War II =
and the coming of General MacArthur, General Tojo and General Mills of =
Madison, Wisconsin.   It was reading the entire Communist Manifesto on =
the back of a Wheaties box that caused him the form the first truly =
communist cell in Peking: The Pink Duck Gang.  The PDG, as it was known, =
secretly plotted to with other student to make May 5, 1919 a day of =
national protest against Japanese concessions.  Unhappily, the PDG =
overslept and the uprising took place without them the previous day, May =
4.  Undaunted, Mao decided to make his ideas known to more people, Mao =
had a local printer run off four and a half million copies of his Little =
Pink Book.  Because of previous commitments to a local movie theater, =
the printer ran out of white ink and the last four and a quarter million =
copies came out bright red.  The rest, as they say, is history. =20

=20

Embaressed by this faux pas, Mao and his follower's, Bart, Grimaldi, =
Juan and Yang, fled to XianShiang province to live out their lives in =
peace.  But they were not allowed to do so, as unknown to many, Cecil B. =
deMille was planning to make a great extrava

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<DIV>The=20
Life and Times of Mao Zhedong.</DIV>
<DIV>
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;<?xml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D=20
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" =
/><o:p></o:p>
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p>
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Most Chinese and Western histories record =
little Mao=92s=20
birth as being somewhere in Hunan Province on Boxing Day, 1893.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; Actually, he was born in =
Toledo, Ohio on=20
March 12, 1894 to Moira and Cassius Breckenridge in the back of the =
Hotel=20
Demimonde between Acts 2 &amp; 3 of The Chinaman=92s Curse, a Melodrama =
written by=20
Moira=92s second Uncle Vaysha while serving time in a Lithuanian prison =
for child=20
empersonation.&nbsp; He had =
started out=20
to re-write Ivanhoe but fell asleep one night over a bowl of Borsht Chow =
Mein=20
and decided instead to write a parable about capitalism, Marx and=20
phrenology.&nbsp; =

<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p>
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">Shortly after Mao=92s birth, he and his parents =
moved to=20
Shanghai to avoid prosecution by Ohio police for shoplifting.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; The mad dash across the Great =
Plains in=20
the middle of the summer was always considered a seminal event for Mao =
and one=20
which he used to great advantage when he first began teaching diesel =
mechanics=20
in night school.&nbsp; His =
great=20
spiritual mentor was, of course, the noted Darwinist and converted =
Quaker, Dr.=20
Moon Yet Sin, in Changsha, capital of Hunan.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; When Dr. Moon led a peaceful =
protest in=20
1911 protesting the rice tax and the war against Japan, the local police =
beat=20
him and his fourteen lady consorts severely about the head and =
shoulders.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; Mao left Dr. Moon for another =
province=20
and began the serious study of John Nathan Mill, Herbert DeLong Spencer, =
and=20
Camille Rousseau but was handicapped by lack of money and began a series =
of=20
daring midnight raids against local porno houses and opium dens.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; Soon he was known as Master =
Mao,=20
Kingpoon of Tang province.&nbsp;=20

<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p>
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">His short life as a bandit hero among the local =
peasants=20
was interrupted first by moving to Peking, disguised as a duck and later =
by=20
World War II and the coming of General MacArthur, General Tojo and =
General Mills=20
of Madison, Wisconsin.&nbsp;&nbsp; =
It was=20
reading the entire Communist Manifesto on the back of a Wheaties box =
that caused=20
him the form the first truly communist cell in Peking: The Pink Duck =
Gang.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; The PDG, as it was known, =
secretly=20
plotted to with other student to make May 5, 1919 a day of national =
protest=20
against Japanese concessions.&nbsp;=20
Unhappily, the PDG overslept and the uprising took place without =
them the=20
previous day, May 4.&nbsp; =
Undaunted, Mao=20
decided to make his ideas known to more people, Mao had a local printer =
run off=20
four and a half million copies of his Little Pink Book.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; Because of previous =
commitments to a=20
local movie theater, the printer ran out of white ink and the last four =
and a=20
quarter million copies came out bright red.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; The rest, as they say, is =
history.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; 
<FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p>
Embaressed by this faux pas, Mao and his follower=92s, Bart, =
Grimaldi, Juan=20
and Yang, fled to XianShiang province to live out their lives in =
peace.<SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; But they were not allowed to =
do so, as=20
unknown to many, Cecil B. deMille was planning to make a great=20
extrava</DIV>
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