Bedtimes virus warning

[Michael Eisenstadt]

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes," 
delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. 
Apparently this one is pretty nasty. 
 
It will not only erase everything on your 
hard drive, but it will also delete anything 
on disks within 20 feet of your computer. 
 
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your 
credit cards. 
 
It reprograms your ATM access code, screws 
up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace 
field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt 
to play. 
 
It will program your phone auto dial to call only 
1-800 numbers. 
 
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. 
 
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE 
SHOWERING. It will drink ALL of your beer. 
 
FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??? 
 
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee 
table when you are expecting company. 

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your 
Nair with Rogaine. 
 
If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 
95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat 
up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously 
close to a full bathtub. 
 
It will not only remove the forbidden to remove 
tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will 
also refill your Skim milk with whole milk. 
 
******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ******* 
 
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 
seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right 
leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front 
of you, sending sparks that will ignite the 
person nearest you. Send this warning to 
everyone.