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----Original Message Follows----
From: "Bob Simmons" <telebob@sbcglobal.net>
To: <telebob@hotmail.com>
Subject: FW: [jive95] hot babes totally naked
Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 14:13:02 -0600



-----Original Message-----
From: Norman Davis [mailto:seguer@zianet.com]
Sent: Sunday, February 23, 2003 4:25 PM
To: Jive95@Yahoogroups.Com
Subject: [jive95] hot babes totally naked


Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address by Swami Beyondananda

Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know what? We really
have no choice. Because no matter where we are, we are always here. And it
is always now. In fact, there's even a book called The Power of Now. I
haven't had time to read it yet, but I hope to get to it in a later now.
Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United States, and indeed
the world is, will George Bush give in to his Big Iraq Attack and order up a
war? Latest reports say that a war to force a regime change in Iraq will
cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me why some of those fiscal fitness
fanatics in the Republican Party haven't tried to find a cheaper way to do
it. Maybe if they offered the Iraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do
it themselves. Then we'd still have $100 billion left to spend on regime
change in this country.

Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in charge are
fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain, problems aren't
solved, they're attacked. Like the War on Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy
to report that it's finally over. The poor people have all surrendered. And
take the War on Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My
solution is cheaper and more effective ... improve reality!

Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those terrorists
into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do! And it just might be.
The good news is -- and I have it on the Highest Authority -- there will
indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that is
up to us.

No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on the planet.
I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty
Principle? Well, they're not even sure about THAT anymore. And so, more and
more people are turning to the mystics for answers.

I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics and the
pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to be more in touch with "reality," but
optimystics are happier and live longer for some reason. The pessimystics
have been crying, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The optimystics
say, "No. It just looks that way because we are ascending."

Now, for those people who read the news -- not to mention those unfortunate
enough to BE in the news -- last year was not an easy year to keep an
optimystic attitude with so much pessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless
"hopium" addict, but I choose to accentuate the positive. For example, you
can say we human beings have moved further down the path of
self-destruction. Or you could say the Earth is ridding itself of a virulent
parasite.

You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, or you can go,
"Hey, population control the good, old fashioned way -- without birth
control or abortion." Who says "compassionate conservative" is an oxymoron?

You can worry about the government taking liberties with our liberties or
you can say, "Life has become simpler! They've boiled the Bill of Rights
down to just one: You have the right to remain silent."

So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry Cohen Baba used
to say, "Life is like photography ... we use the negative to develop." So
let us look at the bright side.

Like technological advances, for example. Forty years ago President John F.
Kennedy promised to have a man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, we
have far exceeded that. Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, George Bush can
have a man on Uranus by the end of the week! George Bush was responsible for
a great spiritual advance last year, as well. He upgraded the Golden Rule
for the new millennium. It's now the Gold Rule: "Doodoo unto others before
they can doodoo unto you."

And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great strides on behalf
of minority representation. Never before have we had a President who was
looking out for a smaller minority.

Now this is the State of the Universe Address, and seen from that higher
perspective, things look great! I am happy to report that the Universe
continued to expand in 2002, and in fact, they actually had to let the
Photon Belt out another notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too, so
we can expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the Universe
just keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as usual. The planets
continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and except for the occasional
case of asteroids, they just calmly go about their business.

Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more problematic. We still
haven't fully recovered from that vicious dogma attack of 911. But as an
optimystic, I believe you can indeed teach an old dogma new tricks, simply
by changing the emPHAsis to another sylLABle. Instead of focusing only on
eme rgency measures, why not take emerge 'n SEE measures?

When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the cosmic comic
perspective, we realize that beneath all the stress and distress and sadness
in life there is a deep well of joy. Each time we let laughter bubble up
from the well, we experience deep wellness. Levity helps us overcome
gravity, especially when we shine the light of laughter on those poorly-lit
corridors of power.

Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's seriousness. I'm
serious. Think about it. Those people have no sense of humor. Otherwise how
could they believe they will get to heaven by putting other people through
hell? Here is my vision: A suicide bomber arrives at the Gates of Heaven,
and God clops him over the head and says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for?
72 virgins? YOU get one 72-year-old virgin, and his name starts with
Ayatollah!"

But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture Show just to
feed our out-of-control oil habit, how are we that different? How many
innocents will be put through hell, just to preserve our little corner of
relative heaven? There is no real peace without harmony and balance, only
the vicious cycle of injustice. Peons get tired of getting peed on, right?
You get pissed on, and pretty soon you're gonna get pissed off. This causes
the hot spots to flare, and pretty soon you have an uprising, which usually
results in a downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on
the body politic.

Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories recently is
about a Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson. He tells
the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The
first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed
and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy.
"Whichever one I feed," is the reply.

Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf of love or
the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we are called humanKIND. What
better time than now to find out, can mankind treat man kindly?

I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're dissatisfied
with the current programming, you can turn off your TV and tell a vision
instead. Here is my vision: Remember the Manhattan Project during World War
II? It took less than four years for a group of scientists to develop the
first weapon of mass destruction. My vision is, we can do even better for an
even worthier goal. We could call it the Manhelpin Project, and its purpose
would be to develop the first weapon of mass construction instead.

Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to detonate in Iraq,
and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader in renewable, clean,
sustainable energy sources? Now there's some real power. Create something so
plentiful you don't have to pay an army to protect your share. A healthy
income, a healthy outcome ... what could possibly make more sense? Boy, talk
about feeding two birds with one scone!

The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we must feed the "alter
native" economy ... anything that alters us natives for the better. The
world we live in is a byproduct of the products we buy, is it not? What if
we only choose to buy products with healthy byproducts? Think about this:
There are at least 45 million Americans who consciously want to feed the
wolf of peace. If each of us switched just $100 into the alter native
economy, that would be $4.5 billion!

Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out peace." I'm happy
to report it is already working. More people are letting their inner peace
out, and these outbreaks of peace are actually causing esteem to rise! And
we all know that rising esteem is good for the atmosphere. As esteem rises,
more people on the planet will be able to be all that they can be - without
joining the army. And when more of us put our energy into love and laughter
instead of criticizing and condemning, we will have Uncritical Mass ... and
we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, and along with it, Disarmaggedon. Now
you might be wondering, what will Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell
another vision.

I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all over the
world dancing together in the universal dance of fool realization ... The
Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with me: all of the world
leaders at the United Nations beginning their sessions with the Hokey Pokey.
What if Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat put their whole selves in in? That
would be commitment. And then pulled their whole selves out. That is
detachment. Then they turn themselves around, which is transformation. And
that, my friends, is what it is all about!

So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough to bring
about Nonjudgment Day? First, you can take a vow of levity, and laugh more.
And we even have a Laughmore Society to help you do just that. Next, you can
support everyone's right to laugh by joining the Right To Laugh Party ...
"One big party, everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."

Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave the world a
funnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of fool-realization with a spark
of laughter. Because only when we lovingly laugh at our foolishness, can we
seriously change things for the better. May you wake up laughing and leave
laughter in your wake ... and may the Farce be with you!



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