Jump starting the economy
Wayne Johnson
cadaobh2@brgnet.com
Wed, 28 Nov 2001 17:45:31 -0500
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
------=_NextPart_000_0000_01C17834.7A7B0680
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Informed souces close to the White House stated this afternoon that
President Bush was going to ask every American to help turn around the
enconomy this Christmas. Scheduled to be part of his regular, weekly radio
broadcast, the President is expected to request that all loyal citizens buy
at least one case of motor oil for "stocking stuffers". Advance copy reads
thusly:
"If each and every one of us puts just one quart of motor oil into the
Christmas stocking of every one in his or her family, why it would be the
best thing we could do in the reinvigorating of our economical stagnation.
I have asked my daddy and his friends in the "industry" to begin printing
real pretty pictures of holly and wreathes and candy canes and stuff right
away so that they will be available at your nearby service station at least
two weeks before Christmas. Remember, this is the season of holly and
wholely (or holy, the text is not clear here) patriotic support for our
young men and women engaged in conflict against the evil forces of the
Islamic Jihad in Afghanistan, Iraq, San Francisco and other regions where
Satan dwells. We expect this act to introduce at least 2.5 billion dollars
into the economy and make up for some of the anticipated losses from Bill
Gates revised quarterly payments in the next fiscal year. Remember, my
American friends, your volunteer labor and money means Washington doesn't
have to pass any legislation to support my plans for solving our country's
financial structuralizationalism. "
Ari Fleisher later explained that the President was not concerned about the
weight of the motor oil as long as it was a real "detergental type."
------=_NextPart_000_0000_01C17834.7A7B0680
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1252"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Dwindows-1252">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 5.50.4134.600" name=3DGENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001>Informed souces close to the White House =
stated this=20
afternoon that President Bush was going to ask every American to help =
turn=20
around the enconomy this Christmas. Scheduled to be part of his =
regular,=20
weekly radio broadcast, the President is expected to request that all =
loyal=20
citizens buy at least one case of motor oil for "stocking =
stuffers". =20
Advance copy reads thusly:</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001>"If each and every one of us puts just one =
quart of=20
motor oil into the Christmas stocking of every one in his or her family, =
why it=20
would be the best thing we could do in the reinvigorating of our=20
economical stagnation. I have asked my daddy and his friends in =
the=20
"industry" to begin printing real pretty pictures of holly and wreathes =
and=20
candy canes and stuff right away so that they will be available at your =
nearby=20
service station at least two weeks before Christmas. Remember, =
this is the=20
season of holly and wholely (or holy, the text is not clear here) =
patriotic=20
support for our young men and women engaged in conflict against the evil =
forces=20
of the Islamic Jihad in Afghanistan, Iraq, San Francisco and other =
regions=20
where Satan dwells. We expect this act to introduce at least 2.5 =
billion=20
dollars into the economy and make up for some of the anticipated losses =
from=20
Bill Gates revised quarterly payments in the next fiscal=20
year. Remember, my American friends, your volunteer labor and =
money=20
means Washington doesn't have to pass any legislation to support my =
plans for=20
solving our country's financial=20
structuralizationalism. "</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001>Ari Fleisher later explained that the =
President=20
was not concerned about the weight of the motor oil as long as it was a =
real=20
"detergental type."</SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff size=3D2><SPAN=20
class=3D150233022-28112001></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE><FONT face=3D"MS Sans Serif" color=3D#0000ff=20
size=3D2></FONT> </BLOCKQUOTE><?/fontfamily></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_000_0000_01C17834.7A7B0680--